What’s Holding You Back? 10 Honest Reasons People Avoid Interacting with Persons with Disabilities, And How to Change That

Let’s be real.
Have you ever seen someone with a disability , maybe at work, in your neighbourhood, or at an event , and wanted to say hello, but didn’t?

You’re not alone.
Many people hesitate. They freeze. They walk away. Not out of disrespect, but because of uncertainty.
Inclusion doesn’t begin with a policy. It begins with us , and with the small, often unnoticed thoughts that shape our actions.

Here are 10 honest reasons people avoid interacting with persons with disabilities , and what we can all do to change that.

1.

I want to be respectful, but I might mess up and offend them. Better to say nothing than say the wrong thing.

What you can do:

·         Start with a simple hello. Warmth matters more than perfection.

·         If unsure, ask politely: “Is it okay if I ask you something about accessibility?”

·         Let go of perfection. Connection beats correctness.

2.

Honestly, I’ve never spoken to someone with a disability before. I don’t know what to say or how to act. I’d rather avoid the situation than risk looking awkward.

What you can do:

·         Begin like any other conversation: “How’s your day going?”

·         Ask about their work, hobbies, or thoughts , not their disability.

·         The more you interact, the more natural it becomes.

3.

I’m not sure they can really do the same things we do. I don’t want to include them and then have them struggle , it might just be uncomfortable for everyone.

What you can do:

·         Never assume. Ask: “Would you like to be part of this?”

·         Let them tell you what works best , trust their agency.

4.

I feel so bad for them. It makes me sad just thinking about what they must go through. I wouldn’t even know how to have a normal conversation , I might just feel too sorry for them.

What you can do:

·         Ditch pity. Choose respect and equality.

·         Avoid phrases like “you’re so brave.” Instead, ask, “What’s something you enjoy doing?”

·         Most persons with disabilities aren’t looking for sympathy , they want equity.

5.

I grew up seeing people with disabilities being separated or kept out of the spotlight. It just feels unnatural to start interacting now , like I’m crossing some unspoken line.

What you can do:

·         Challenge your comfort zone. Say hello anyway.

·         Attend inclusive events. Follow disability advocates online.

·         Exposure dissolves discomfort.

6.

What if I say something and they can’t hear me or understand me? Or what if they need help moving around and I don’t know how to help? I’ll probably just make it harder.

What you can do:

·         Just ask: “Would you like any assistance?”

·         Respect if they say no.

·         Learn simple communication basics (e.g., how to guide, visual cues, clear speech).

7.

What if I say something stupid, or they react in a way I don’t expect? I don’t want to embarrass myself , or make them feel uncomfortable either.

What you can do:

·         A little vulnerability goes a long way.

·         If you mess up, apologise and move on.

·         People appreciate effort more than perfection.

8.

Maybe they want to be left alone. If I approach them, they might think I’m being nosy or treating them differently. I don’t want to invade their space.

What you can do:

·         Assume inclusion, not exclusion.

·         Ask: “Would you like to join us?” or “Want to sit here?”

·         Let them decide, not your assumptions.

9.

I support inclusion, but I genuinely don’t know what to do.

What you can do:

·         Learn about accessible tools, inclusive language, and adaptive practices.

·         Ask your workplace or school to offer sensitisation training.

·         Even small acts , like holding space in a circle or using a mic , matter.

10.

In my culture, we don’t really mix much with people who have disabilities. I was always taught to be polite from a distance, not to engage directly.

What you can do:

·         Reflect: are these habits helping or hurting?

·         Respect isn’t silence , it’s connection.

·         Rewrite the script you inherited with kindness and courage.

5 Quick Tips for Everyday Inclusion

·         Start with person-first thinking , see the individual, not the condition.

·         Don’t wait to be perfect , just be present.

·         Avoid assumptions. Ask and listen.

·         Make accessibility part of how you host, invite, speak, and share.

·         Follow and learn from disability advocates , their voices matter.

Final Thought

Every time you hesitate, ask yourself:
“Is this fear , or is it habit?”
Then challenge it.

Inclusion doesn’t require a grand gesture.
Sometimes, it starts with two simple words:

“Hi there.” 

#DisabilityInclusion #InclusionStartsWithYou #BreakTheSilence #SayHiNotWhy #SeeThePerson #EverydayInclusion #ChallengeAssumtions