What’s Holding You Back? 10 Honest Reasons People Avoid Interacting with Persons with Disabilities, And How to Change That

Let’s be real.
Have you ever seen someone with a disability , maybe at work, in your neighbourhood, or at an event , and wanted to say hello, but didn’t?

You’re not alone.
Many people hesitate. They freeze. They walk away. Not out of disrespect, but because of uncertainty.
Inclusion doesn’t begin with a policy. It begins with us , and with the small, often unnoticed thoughts that shape our actions.

Here are 10 honest reasons people avoid interacting with persons with disabilities , and what we can all do to change that.

1.

I want to be respectful, but I might mess up and offend them. Better to say nothing than say the wrong thing.

What you can do:

·         Start with a simple hello. Warmth matters more than perfection.

·         If unsure, ask politely: “Is it okay if I ask you something about accessibility?”

·         Let go of perfection. Connection beats correctness.

2.

Honestly, I’ve never spoken to someone with a disability before. I don’t know what to say or how to act. I’d rather avoid the situation than risk looking awkward.

What you can do:

·         Begin like any other conversation: “How’s your day going?”

·         Ask about their work, hobbies, or thoughts , not their disability.

·         The more you interact, the more natural it becomes.

3.

I’m not sure they can really do the same things we do. I don’t want to include them and then have them struggle , it might just be uncomfortable for everyone.

What you can do:

·         Never assume. Ask: “Would you like to be part of this?”

·         Let them tell you what works best , trust their agency.

4.

I feel so bad for them. It makes me sad just thinking about what they must go through. I wouldn’t even know how to have a normal conversation , I might just feel too sorry for them.

What you can do:

·         Ditch pity. Choose respect and equality.

·         Avoid phrases like “you’re so brave.” Instead, ask, “What’s something you enjoy doing?”

·         Most persons with disabilities aren’t looking for sympathy , they want equity.

5.

I grew up seeing people with disabilities being separated or kept out of the spotlight. It just feels unnatural to start interacting now , like I’m crossing some unspoken line.

What you can do:

·         Challenge your comfort zone. Say hello anyway.

·         Attend inclusive events. Follow disability advocates online.

·         Exposure dissolves discomfort.

6.

What if I say something and they can’t hear me or understand me? Or what if they need help moving around and I don’t know how to help? I’ll probably just make it harder.

What you can do:

·         Just ask: “Would you like any assistance?”

·         Respect if they say no.

·         Learn simple communication basics (e.g., how to guide, visual cues, clear speech).

7.

What if I say something stupid, or they react in a way I don’t expect? I don’t want to embarrass myself , or make them feel uncomfortable either.

What you can do:

·         A little vulnerability goes a long way.

·         If you mess up, apologise and move on.

·         People appreciate effort more than perfection.

8.

Maybe they want to be left alone. If I approach them, they might think I’m being nosy or treating them differently. I don’t want to invade their space.

What you can do:

·         Assume inclusion, not exclusion.

·         Ask: “Would you like to join us?” or “Want to sit here?”

·         Let them decide, not your assumptions.

9.

I support inclusion, but I genuinely don’t know what to do.

What you can do:

·         Learn about accessible tools, inclusive language, and adaptive practices.

·         Ask your workplace or school to offer sensitisation training.

·         Even small acts , like holding space in a circle or using a mic , matter.

10.

In my culture, we don’t really mix much with people who have disabilities. I was always taught to be polite from a distance, not to engage directly.

What you can do:

·         Reflect: are these habits helping or hurting?

·         Respect isn’t silence , it’s connection.

·         Rewrite the script you inherited with kindness and courage.

5 Quick Tips for Everyday Inclusion

·         Start with person-first thinking , see the individual, not the condition.

·         Don’t wait to be perfect , just be present.

·         Avoid assumptions. Ask and listen.

·         Make accessibility part of how you host, invite, speak, and share.

·         Follow and learn from disability advocates , their voices matter.

Final Thought

Every time you hesitate, ask yourself:
“Is this fear , or is it habit?”
Then challenge it.

Inclusion doesn’t require a grand gesture.
Sometimes, it starts with two simple words:

“Hi there.” 

#DisabilityInclusion #InclusionStartsWithYou #BreakTheSilence #SayHiNotWhy #SeeThePerson #EverydayInclusion #ChallengeAssumtions

Helen Keller Week: When the Screen Reader Went Silent 🧏‍♀️💻

This week is Helen Keller Deafblind Awareness Week—a time to reflect on how communication shapes connection, dignity, and participation.

Helen Keller’s life showed the world that even without sight or hearing, one can learn, lead, and inspire—if the right tools, support, and mindset are in place.

Her story felt especially close to me recently.

I was in an online workshop.

Everything was going smoothly—until we were asked to join breakout rooms.

Suddenly, my screen reader stopped working.

No prompts.

No audio cues.

I was muted.

My camera was on.

Everyone else had moved on.

I sat there, fully present, yet completely disconnected.

The facilitator kept saying, “Click the button to accept the breakout room invitation.”

But I couldn’t hear or see anything to click.

I raised my hand—hoping someone would notice.

She assumed I was saying goodbye.

She said, “Okay, bye.”

And then… silence.

After a few moments, someone unmuted me from their end.

I explained that I’m blind, and that my screen reader had stopped working.

I also explained what a screen reader is—and how it's how I navigate online spaces.

That moment reminded me how fragile accessibility can be.

When assistive technology fails, my connection to the digital world breaks.

For me, a screen reader isn’t just a convenience—it’s how I navigate, contribute, and stay included.

Without it, I’m left in the room, but not in the conversation.

As we honour Helen Keller this week, I’m reminded of the power of assistive technology to enable participation, connection, and independence for persons with disabilities.

#HelenKeller #AssistiveTechnology #Accessibility #Blindness #Inclusion #DigitalInclusion #LivedExperience #DeafblindAwarenessWeek

VIP as VIP is Back!

It’s been a long time since I last wrote here. Life moved fast. I got involved in bigger projects, working with companies, organisations, and institutions to develop strategies that make their spaces more inclusive — not just for the sake of compliance, but to truly welcome persons with disabilities.

I’ve found myself more and more in spaces designed without us in mind — boardrooms, trainings, websites, recruitment systems, digital tools — all built with good intentions, but still missing the most important part: the people they forget.

And somewhere along the way, I was reminded why I started VIP as VIP in the first place.

I became blind almost 10 years ago. And back then, I saw what it felt like to be the opposite of a VIP — to be underestimated, left out, or seen as an afterthought. That’s what pushed me to create this space: to flip the narrative. To say that vision impaired people are very important people — not because we need special treatment, but because we matter. Because we can lead, contribute, and thrive when given the chance.

Coming back to this blog now feels like returning to my roots.

I’ve grown. I’ve learned. I’ve worked with amazing people across sectors and countries. But the mission hasn’t changed — and neither has the need for real, honest conversations about inclusion.

So I’m bringing VIP as VIP back — as a space to share stories, lessons, and real-life strategies that make inclusion more than just a policy.

If you’ve been here before, thank you.

If you’re new, welcome.

I hope what I share here helps you see the world — and the people in it — a little differently.

Strategy Conference National Para Olympics

The strategy conference for the national para Olympics was held on the 6th and 7th February 2020 at Hotel Clarion Kiribathgoda. Mr. Hilmy Ishak was the facilitator for the session.

Story of a Visually Impaired Chess Player

The famous saying of the great Albert Einstein: “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity”, indeed, was the saying that inspired me to focus on my abilities, not on my disability.

Chess is one of the best gifts God gave me. When I had normal vision, I didn’t have time to play or learn Chess because I concentrated more on my studies. However, after I became visually impaired due to an eye disease called “Retinitis Pigmentosa”, I got to play and learn Chess.

When I joined a rehabilitation program for the visually impaired, I met Chess players who were blind or partially sighted. From them, I learned how to play Chess with an adaptive Chess board. As soon as I learned the game, I got an opportunity to play in the national visually impaired Chess championship. At that time, was my chess knowledge sufficient to compete in a national event immediately after completing an introductory course? But I managed to become runner-up in this tournament. That was the first time I participated in an All Island competition. This was in the year 2013. The result of this tournament was the first indication that I had some talent for playing Chess.

I followed an online Chess course conducted by the Hadley School for the Blind. I completed both studies conducted by this institute with a grade of A+. I wanted to improve my knowledge of Chess. I tried to learn Chess from the internet, but most of the lessons were not accessible for visually impaired students. Then I tried to find a Chess mentor who could help me to improve my game. Still, even though people like to teach me, due to their busy schedules, it is hard to commit their time to preparing lessons accessible to a visually impaired person. I was so disappointed at that time because I thirsted for knowledge of Chess, but there was no way for me to continue my training. I almost gave up Chess and took swimming and Cricket. My dream was. To represent my country in a sports event at the highest level and to bring glory to my country.

In 2017, I represented my country in the Asian Pacific Chess Championship for the visually impaired. The tournament was an excellent experience for me. During the tournament, I attended a meeting where they presented how Chess in India for the visually impaired developed during the last 2 decades. After that tournament, I realized that I must play in tournaments regularly to improve my Chess. Unfortunately, since 2013 there was not a single tournament organized for the visually impaired in my country. So I decided to play in open international-rated Chess tournaments scheduled for sighted players. F.I.D.E. rules allow visually impaired players to play against sighted players.

I wrote a request message to the admin of Chess life.lk Facebook fan page requesting tournament organizers to allow visually impaired players to play in Chess tournaments organized for sighted players. After my message was published on the fan page, the Negambo Chess Festival organizers allowed visually impaired players to play in tournaments.

Chess for the visually impaired in Sri Lanka started in the mid-1990s. In 2017 I became the first visually impaired chess player to compete in an open international-rated Chess tournament organized for sighted players. In the same year, I became the first visually impaired Chess player to get F.I.D.E. international ratings in my country. Now in most Chess tournaments organized for sighted Chess players, the tournament organizers have named a separate category prize called “Differently-abled Category” for players with a disability. As a result, chess Players with disabilities in my country regularly play in open international-rated Chess tournaments. That is a tremendous positive change for persons with disabilities who love to play Chess. I can still remember the first game I played in a Chess tournament with a sighted player. Other players, their parents and kids surrounded me to see how I played by touching Chess pieces because it was a new experience for them. During intervals between matches, kids come near me to play friendly games. They like to try my specially-made Chessboard for the blind.

The same year, I got to work as a translator on a project where a Chess syllabus was created for Chess coaches and students in the local language. After I got married in 2017, my wife helped me with Chess studies by reading Chess books and describing Chess diagrams. But, Without a Chess coach, it is challenging for me to reach another level in Chess. I have trained myself to play Chess blindfold. It means to play Chess without a Chess board or Chess pieces. It is a great skill to develop, especially when you are a visually impaired Chess player. I now play many tournaments via Skype with other visually impaired Chess players worldwide. I’m also a member of the United States Braille Chess association.

Chess is now a sport included in the Para games, starting from the 2018 Asian Para games held in Indonesia. I was selected to represent my country in the Asian Para games 2018. I was placed 13th in Asia with a performance rating of 1502, which is my highest performance rating in a Chess tournament.

My goal is to become a member of the I.B.C.A. (visually impaired Chess team), which participates in the Chess Olympiad. I can achieve my goal with proper training, guidance, and hard work. Even though my vision is gradually deteriorating, Chess has enlightened my mind’s eye. However, I wish I had a Chess coach who could guide me toward my goals.

My first Asian Para Games Experience 2018

I was thrilled to be selected for the Asian para games Chess team to represent my country. On the 1st of October at 7.30 a.m., we left Bandaranayaka airport for Indonesia. There was a grand opening ceremony on the 6th of October. Our games started on the 7th.

Facilities provided for players were excellent, and 8000 volunteers were appointed to help the para-athletes. In addition, we had varieties of food and other entertainment, such as musical shows etc.

I played for the standard Chess event. I placed 13th in Asia with a performance rating of 1502.

Our para team got 14 medals, including 4 gold medals. We returned to Sri Lanka on the 14th of October.

Asian Para Games 2018 Sri Lanka Team

The third edition of the Asian Para Games will be held from 6to 13Octoberin Jakarta, Indonesia, where Sri Lanka will field a team of athletes representing nine different sporting disciplines, which include archers, athletes (track and field), badminton players, visually impaired chess players, power lifters, swimmers, shooters, table tennis players and wheelchair tennis players. 

Previously, the Asian Para Games were called the FESPIC games (Far East and Pacific Games) which began in 2002, where Sri Lanka bagged more than 24 medals including six gold medals in Korea. Subsequently, the games were held in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in 2006, before rebranding as the 1st Asian Para Games, that was held in China in the year 2010 and the second Asian Para Games that was held in South Korea four years later. On both the previous two occasions, Sri Lanka grabbed more than 22 medals.

This year, Sri Lanka is represented by world class athletes in the likes of paralympic medalist Dinesh Priyantha Herath (javelin) and top rankers such as Upul IndikaChuladasa (100/200m) and Sampath Hettiarachchi (javelin), along with many more medal winners at the Asian Level with potentials from archery (Sampath Bandara), table tennis (Dinesh Desapriya) and Gamini Dissanayake of wheelchair tennis. 

“It is noteworthy to mention the support and assistance we have received from the Ministry of Sports and the principal sponsor of the National Paralympic Committee (NPC) Dialog Axiata PLC, for their continuous support towards empowering the athletes for the Asian Para Games this year,” said National Paralympic Committee President Major GeneralRajitha Ampemohotte. 

“Dialog is pleased to have partnered with the NPC since 2002 to provide support for these athletes who will bring honour and glory to Sri Lanka,” said Dialog Axiata PLC General Manager – Brand and Media Harsha Samaranayake. 

He added: “Sri Lankan para athletes have performed well in the last few international meets and Dialog will continue the support as a strong proponent of powering para athletes, parallel to our philosophy of empowering all segments of society to excel on a national and international stage.”

reference: http://www.ft.lk/sports/Dialog-Axiata-powers-National-Contingent-for-Asian-Para-Games-2018/23-663525